Getrude Press: Arisa White: The Interview

Arisa White is the author of two poetry chapbooks and the recipient of multiple awards and honors. Her first full-length collection Hurrah’s Nest, nominated for the 44th NAACP Image Award, made some of Gertrude’s editorial staff fall in love and want to know more. Her second full-length collection, A Penny Saved, was published by Willow Books. Gertrude’s Elizabeth Simson had the honor of interviewing Arisa for issue 19 of Gertrude. We hope you enjoy what we discovered.

Elizabeth Simson (ES): This is your first collection. How long have you been writing? Talk a little about the journey to creating this book. Poets sometimes ask us about the process of gathering poems for a manuscript. How did you select and order the poems for Hurrah’s Nest?

Arisa White (AW): I’ve been writing for over a decade. “Follow” was written as an undergrad at Sarah Lawrence. I was in a workshop with Thomas Lux. (I enjoyed staring at the slouch socks he wore with his tapered jeans.) After class, Thomas came up to me and said that if I ever needed anything—needed to talk—he was there for me. He thought it was me in the poem. He told me to get out of it. I was upset he thought it was me and equally moved by his caring. As I pulled together the poems of this collection, I had to honor the fact that these were true stories. I couldn’t escape them or separate myself from them.

I continued to write poems, without thinking about them as part of a collection, while taking Cave Canem workshops in Manhattan and in graduate school at UMass Amherst. A variation of Hurrah’s Nest was my thesis project. I sent the manuscript off to contests and publishers after grad school and received rejections. I reflected on what was working, what wasn’t. I got feedback from editor friends and asked non-poetry people to read it to see if it appealed to them, if they had questions about clarity, narrative arc, etc. Using all that feedback over these past four years, I deliberately put all my family poems together, narrowed it down to a time period, chronologically ordered them, and soon I could see what was missing, what wasn’t said.

“Disposition for Shininess” is one of those poems added to give it volume, to give my voice the rage and confusion it needed to create a fully complex emotional experience for the reader. “You smellin ya’self gal?” is the last piece I wrote for Hurrah’s Nest. (I was at Hedgebrook in 2010 and it came to me—I think subconsciously I wanted the challenge of writing lyrical prose—and I enjoyed writing it; I could hear my brothers’ voices so clearly. I laughed so much while writing it.) I needed the prose form to ground the collection, as well as be a narrative fulcrum to which all the other poems could refer.

In thinking about how to open and close the book, it made sense for me to begin it with a poem that uses my siblings’ names. The opening poem is somewhat an epistle to my youngest brother, chronicling the experiences he was not a part of. Then the closing poem addresses another brother, who is older, proposing the need to revisit and unearth the stories and beliefs that have shaped us, so that we are not limited by those stories and beliefs.

When Virtual Artists Collective accepted the book in 2011 for publication, I asked my siblings for permission to use their names. I sent them the manuscript and hoped that they approved of what I wrote. It was so great they said yes, quite immediately after I sent them emails. As I look back, it makes sense that this is my first collection—in some ways it is a tribute to the art making that my siblings and I would do when we were little. We created together, and I still keep them close when I create.

ES: There’s a commitment to truth and complexity in your poems, no simple heroes or villains. How does the form/structure/container of poetry support or challenge this complexity?

AW: I often think of poetry as a small private room. Maybe like a good size walk-in closet. And when I invite moments, experiences, and those people who were involved in the experience or moment into that private room, there is intimacy, there is vulnerability, and we will undeniably be human with each other. Our shadow and our light will come. Our good and our bad. Our shame and our triumphs. We will be sensate witnesses to and for each other. Mirrors and shields. And soon the language of right or wrong won’t make much sense. You are forced to live honestly or find a way to get out. And when you find the appropriate container for the poem, be it free verse or the various poetic forms, that containment requires a shedding (of your bullshit) and letting go (of judgments about self and other) to reach the thing that brought you to write the poem in the first place.

ES: You strongly inhabit your voice as oldest daughter in these poems about mothering and childhood. How does your identity of oldest daughter influence the way you approach writing?

AW: I haven’t consciously thought about my identity as oldest daughter factoring into my approach to writing, but what I have learned and understood as the oldest daughter is that everyone else comes before. A kind of personal neglect occurs. I’m more concerned about others; I often overlook my feelings and needs. So I must be careful about how I may obscure the truth from myself. A close of friend of mind, R. Erica Doyle, once said to me, years ago, that I need to write how I feel. No fancy metaphors, just say it plain. That was strange to me; it didn’t seem like poetry to write how I feel. That was a necessary breakthrough because I recognized I was still in my role as oldest daughter, nurturer, woman. Being so selfless, I had no self. I was a whispering voice. I was performing, instead of being. So writing now is more a discovery of something true, something forgotten, something lost along the way. I write now to nurture what is found into being.

ES: The book is dedicated to your siblings: Jamar, Ibert, Kayana, Shaquana, Nigel, and Uriah. Some of the poems (like “Sister”) seem to be a tribute to them. What do you hope to give your family through your poems? 

AW: Release. You know, sometimes you have those hard cries, where snot is running and tears are fat and stormy, and you allow yourself to be in it without judgment, shame, or embarrassment. There, in it to the max. Then you’re done; a quiet resolution takes over you and you are free—free—from that thing you’ve been holding on to for so very long.

ES: Do you have any advice for poets on writing about personal experiences in childhood?

AW: Write about it until you can’t write about it anymore. We see ourselves more clearly when we write about and from those childhood experiences.

ES: In your final poem in the book you talk about “uncovering to the grain.” While many of the poems in Hurrah’s Nest are painful, there is also a strong undercurrent of purpose in navigating pain in order to speak truth, confront complicity, and move forward in healing. What helps you to “uncover the grain” within your writing?

AW: Having people and, therefore, experiences that challenge me to look more closely, from another angle or perspective, so that I don’t get caught up on this one idea of myself or come to believe there is one way to be or do things. I don’t allow myself to get stuck or complacent—even though it is sometimes easier to go with the status quo, stay quiet, keep my head down. In ways that are healthy and safe for me, I take risks; I follow my dreams; I consider fear but don’t let it be the reason I do or don’t do something. And this enters my writing, this way of being in the world.

ES: In the midst of difficult stories, the poems “My Little Chuleta” and “It’s Not that My Brother Was Acting a Fool” provide the reader with moments of respite. Longer narrative poems, such as “Disposition for Shininess” and “The Small Places I Go,” are punctuated with punch-to-the-gut phrases: “I’ve learned to trust her like a hive” and “It’s winter when it comes to my words.” Can you talk a little about the process of crafting poetry that both carries powerful impact and leaves breathing space?

AW: It is so very intuitive for me. Most of the time, I am taking an emotion, this wordless thing, and putting language to it. I follow the ebb and flow of that emotion, its peaks and valleys, the way it shapes itself in the gut or chest. And because there is movement in emotions, there are places of breath, where it begins and ends. I try to get that down on my first draft, which I always write by longhand. Noticing the natural intelligence of the poem—prosody, line and stanza breaks, the evolvement of a metaphor, etc.—I then craft the poem around these elements. I whittle away, I add, until the poem has fully articulated its emotional life on the page.

What I wanted to capture in “I’ve learned to trust her like a hive” was the wariness, the desire and fear, of approaching something you know is full of sweet and goodness—there are stings, and possibly death if you’re allergic, that come with getting the honey. I try to find phrases and images that are emotionally complex with many layers. You must explore those layers within yourself to really access the full meaning. There is a way in which my poetry needs the reader to go within herself, to be an emotional being, in order to know what is being said. You can’t be afraid to deeply feel—in those most uncomfortable and complicated ways.

ES: What responsibilities do you carry in writing poems, in sharing them with the world?

The Interview continued here.

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“Passion” by Kristyna Moran

Last month I had the pleasure of reading at WORD PLAY, a literary community of undergraduates at San Francisco State University. There I met Kristyna, who directs the group, and other word-loving folks. She shared the following poem, which contains line “it feels like I started the day and the sun never came up,” borrowed from the lyrical story in Hurrah’s Nest, “You smellin ya’self gal?”. Thank you for sharing this poem, Kristyna!

Passion
Wandering hearts delve into the song of misery
Lyrics are written in the stars-
Hearts are thundering, beating, drowning;
Lives are made of echoing lies
And wringing truths –
Souls writhe in the agony
Of our forefather’s honesty-
In just a glimpse of Time
Seconds die; Memory springs forth-
I am Me who exists
Solely by thoughts of You.
It feels like I started the day
And the sun never came up-
Clouds painted the atlas
Of thundering skies of happiness-
Life begins to sway and moan
According to invisible choreography;
It is not Truth that makes Me
It is Reality that encases You.

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On My Tour: An Ekphrastic Experience at Dillion’s in Boston

Like most writers, I went to AWP in Boston, and I did an offsite reading at Dillion’s. The Heat it was called, and I was asked by my friend Laura Bogart to participate. Because I like to change things up, here and there, I decided to read work from a manuscript-in-progress–where the titles for the poems come from derogatory phrases for “gay” or queer-like creatures. I read the poem “Amazon Molly,” and while reading, an audience member created the drawing below–on the back he wrote: “Repetition is the key to my heart” followed by his signature. Only a pharmacist can make out his name.

It’s nice when poetry inspires more art. It’s like a collaboration of spirit.

Drawing

Me, pictured here with the gentleman who created the drawing while I read "Amazon Molly." Photo by Michael Massey

Me, pictured here with the gentleman who created the drawing while I read “Amazon Molly.” Photo by Michael Massey

Here is the poem for your reading pleasure and if you are inspired to create something from it, please do send it my way:

Amazon Molly

 

Scales are perfectly

shelved on your strands.

 

One at a time, I blow

democratic louses

from your silver head.

 

This is how it goes:

blow, blow until the wish

has the conviction of its sails.

 

It’ll arrive somewhere

in this co-created quantum possum.

 

Pale faces with one

continent between them,

chipping at Cornish hens—

 

Refresh. Please, refresh.

 

I want to hoard glyphs

and solutions for a smaller wound—

we haven’t gotten it yet.

 

Our hearts are weak,

our oratory short buses,

zoom and zoom, then AA.

 

It saddens me

we mark our privates with trees.

 

But sadder than that,

we think we don’t

mark our trees like pirates.

 

Aren’t you tired of looking

on your face like it’s

the only prize in the universe?

 

Don’t you want to know

that it has never been about you?

 

Keeping it fake,

Kleenex can smell your sneeze.

 

Inverting the subject,

the ocean is the eye’s birthplace.

 

But beyond that unblinking dress is Amazon Molly and her fry of she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she she–

 It must be exhausting

for freshwater to lick

all that sheesh!

No, no get me right,

my fairies have

the warmest Sheela-na-gigs.

 

The Charlie horses have been

worked out the hull—

what, you don’t believe my giraffes?

 

Listen, sit shiva.

 

Take your platforms away

and wash your scapulas with pine.

 

I’m serious,

if we are to move on

we must abandon the myth of our begets.

 

But sadder,

sadder than that,

I wait for you to first the line.

 

Check:                         [] yes    or         [] no     if you’re gonna meet me after hambone.

 

 

 

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On My Tour: Workshop Offerings

I spent this past March in Massachusetts, Connecticut, and New York promoting Hurrah’s Nest and A Penny Saved. I gave readings, a lecture, and workshops. I wanted to share some of the poems that came out of the two workshops I taught in Brooklyn at the Women Writers in Bloom Poetry Salon and Hampshire College in Massachusetts.

On March 17 I facilitated the following workshop: What’s Going On?! Have you been moved to write a poem in response to what you have seen on the evening news or read in the papers? In this workshop we will transform newsworthy items into poems that reflect our distinctive point of view with language that compels us to pay attention. Bring a story or article you would like to make into a poem.

Here is what Esther Louise had to say about the workshop: “Thank you for Sunday. . . .You showed me how to prompt a poem out of an article. Wonderful, just plain wonderful.”

the shrink
for arisa who showed me how

how many feet do i need
after i’m all grown up
and collecting since before?
how many feet do i need
when ads did their jobs well?
will these chairs hold hips
in pairs and table settings
feed multi-mouths?
if i count shoes, how many
pairs can any pair wear?
how many hats cover a head?
with books lined up from surface
to surface, side to side,
and art covering all other ends,
making painted backgrounds
forget their color?
how many feet do i need
for clothes that stretch
and define decades?
how large is 3600 square feet?
how small is 420 squared feet?
when i make naked walls,
and strip all cases,
can a foot shrink and
be small again?
when i hide my bed upright,
can a foot shrink and be small
again? when i give away my books,
my art, and recycle my clothes,
use only my needs during
the course of one year?
can a foot shrink and
be small again?
how many feet can
i shrink before i am
just six feet under all?

Here is the article that inspired the poem: http://www.nytimes.com/2013/03/10/opinion/sunday/living-with-less-a-lot-less.html?pagewanted=all

On March 27, at Hampshire College, I facilitated Split A Part: A Conversation and Writing Workshop: In this workshop, we will dialogue about how we, as writers, approach difficult and vulnerable-making subject matter: race, sexuality, religion; politics?those hot topics that spur the desire to write. Yet when we get to the page, we are often confronted with our own self-consciousness. What new idea or point of view can deepen the conversation? How to artistically enter into something that feels bigger than the individual? Writing exercises will offer participants a way to start; to approach topics and subjects that may intimidate them as writers, and find that through embracing one?s self?voice, history, and experiences?as a source of intelligence, we see who we are and what we put forth as distinctive, new, enlarging, and necessary.

One of the Hampshire participants, who would like to remain anonymous, had to say this about Split A Part: “Thank you for the powerful workshop tonight–the questions you guided us through were really generative for me. I especially appreciated the emphasis on tuning in to how we were feeling in our bodies/ where we feel things. Thank you also for sharing your work with us and for cultivating a space open to risk-taking and exploring vulnerabilities.”

Here is the prose piece she created during our time together:

I am not saying the tears that are in my throat, even though I’ve had a lot of practice learning how to listen them out of me.

I am not saying that I’m scared and sad to see you and nervous.

I feel myself rubbing my own arm, saying its okay to feel— and not know why. I linger. Your cough. Smoke. Franzia. Graduation. A short season. Black holes where I don’t know why I lived in so many places growing up. I’m feeling the summer I lived with you and those few weeks you were so depressed you hardly left your room. Black sheets on your bed with the curly-Q metal headboard. Chain-smoking. Smoke stale in everything, settled.

I felt “daughter” and how that word feels weird to me, how you gave me my breath, my back, but were maybe never a parent. That feels like a sin to say. It keeps occurring to me—what if your ex husband moved here to live with his son after he gets out of jail and suddenly this town isn’t mine anymore and it becomes really dangerous. I’m going to see you here, in a month, two.

I know things but there isn’t much language for my knowledge to follow. Smells like pine on the wind, when it’s warm out, but you can’t quite locate it for sure.

I only share my silence with people who know silence. And when I do, I do it slowly.

I know your cheek against mine. The piece of river glass I gave you, you gave back to me wrapped in copper wire.

 

I want to thank all the folks you participated in these workshops–the willingness to go through this challenging process of interrogating your subjects, writing from your bodies, and being willing to following me along the way, taught me a lot about my abilities as a teacher and a poet. It is more than sharing what I love to do, this was an opportunity to understand what I do, how I do it, and then put it into language, into a practice so that others can replicated in their lives. I was a part of an exchange of creative energy and it will fuel me during those times when I feel drained and uninspired.

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Introducing HER KIND: Rosebud Ben-Oni and Arisa White | The Conversant

Rosebud Ben-Oni and Arisa White

 

Starting with our May 2013 issue, The Conversant will be publishing excerpts from HER KIND, a digital literary community powered by VIDA: Women in Literary Arts. In order to introduce that series, we have asked HER KIND’s editors, Rosebud Ben-Oni and Arisa White, to answer the following question:

 

Could you describe your goals for HER KIND (the publishing context out of which it comes, its relation to VIDA, the types of discussions you seek to promote, people you hope to publish, etc.)?

 

Arisa White: I wanted HK to be a container—a space where we were creating a literary community of sorts. So VIDA is known for The Count, for the hard numbers that show the gender disparities in the literary world, and I wanted HK to be a counterpoint to that. For myself I need to see solutions to the things I find unjust—alternative visions for thriving that are not rooted in an oppressive paradigm. Because what that tells me is that we are creatively and resourcefully using our imaginations to bring about change.

 

Here is space for women writers to express themselves and their relationship to the written word, the written world, to articulate the textual bodies that we are.

 

While developing HK with Rosebud and Cate, my goal was to create a literary environment for play, spontaneity, and intellectual curiosity, where speaking freely is welcomed. Rosebud and I come up with crazy-interesting, and sometimes off-the-cuff themes, to let people know we want to be surprised and shaped by the content that comes our way. And for me it was a matter of how to do that without making anyone feel like they had to have a degree, a book, an award, a particular hue, or know someone in order to be published.

 

Rosebud Ben-Oni: Working with Arisa is half dance-party and half reflecting out on a sea of all seasons—HK has put a weight on my shoulders that I like. I want the kind of discussions that I at one time or another could not initiate or even join. On my mother’s side, which is Mexican, there is mostly oral history; listening to my mother and her 6 other siblings tell me of the things that happened to them, I’ve found if I put it all together that, rather than straight history, I know more about each individually. Contradictions burst with their own truths. My father’s side, which is Jewish, might come from a written-word history, yet due to his personal history, a lot has been lost. When I was a child, I could not initiate a conversation with him, or my mother, whom he’s entrusted with the better part of his life, his childhood. I knew there was a war (the Shoah), that my paternal grandfather had been married before, that he was much older than my grandmother and died while my father was a child. That my father grew up in hospitals watching him die. That he was poor. He told these things to my mother, and only her; I had to respect that she is his keeper. But I felt very incomplete, like I would never know my father, that he’d remain a mystery. For a long time I walked around with that burden on my shoulders. In college I discovered other young women who could not initiate or join certain conversations, for similar or different reasons.

 

It was this inability to ask, to know where to begin, which bonds me to the mission of HER KIND— from our writers, I’m learning how. I’m learning what it means to be a woman who performs as a drag queen, an activist in Librotraficante and Underground Libraries. I, too, was once young LGBT Latina who could not find herself in the books assigned in schools. This is the kind of writing we want to feature.

 

Arisa, we ask our Ladies in the House a series of questions, and I’d like to ask you two we’ve used in the past: Where do you begin? Where do you end?

 

AW: Now that you shared that RB, I too am thinking about the personal histories that make up my life. My mothers. The absence of my father. Learning to reconcile what is here and not here, said and silent. So where I begin is somewhere in the nonverbal. In a feeling place that calls attention to the ends that want to meet up. In many ways, I feel like my mother is one end and I am the other, and along the way we are creating a seam that speaks to and about our lives. Maybe in the end, the seam looks like a scar, but the result is a kind of healing. A way to let something go and begin again. To take what I deem a void, an absence, an emptiness and make a nest there. I’m a restless spirit, so I like beginning again, looking things over, thinking about how to speak this differently, how to be committed to this thing that doesn’t have language. How to labor the syllables out of it, the symbols, make a web from all that drool and spittle—because who said that any of this would not be messy? One of the great things about working with RB is that we share a similar kind of willingness and courage—to step out the box, then mischievously eye each other, and chuckle in that wise woman way because we knew this box had no walls. As editors we like to inject that mercurial, tricksterness into HER KIND. We are Wookin’!

 

RB, in thinking about HK’s April theme of Exquisite Foolishness, tell us what kind of trickster you are?

 

RB: A 7-Train trickster. A code-switching trickster. I still contain the contradictions of my upbringing, and those contradictions contain multitudes. Like how hybridity has its own purity. Its own origin too. A trickster of contemporary traditions. Meaning that, when once I taught an American Literature class, I had Junot Diaz, Gwendolyn Brooks, Sherman Alexie, a Hmong anthology. I was asked where is the canon. I don’t understand that question; compared to Jewish history, the United States is a young country. Its culture is still becoming. While I respect Hemmingway, Faulkner and Fitzgerald, two of those men wrote during their time abroad. They were Europhiles. Why they are necessary and other writers are supplemental (like Women’s Lit, Latino Lit, African-American Lit) is where I’m certainly tricksterish. I know Standard English. I know various dialects. The difference between being alive and living. Hearing and listening. I’m along for the ride of the futures. I want to be the ride too. Ghost the rails and break night.

 

Arisa, you came up with our theme for August, Bitches. What prompted that? How do you define the word?

 

AW: For some time, I have been afraid of bitches. The dogs too. In the face of aggression, I want to quickly turn away. Too much directness makes me feel seen, like someone is pointing at me and saying, this is who you are. That’s a bitch to me. And we need that. We all need that. I can’t be a full human being if I do not embrace that warrior/fighter me, that part that is courageous to speak her truth, speaking loud and with pride—no stutter or pause—and as a result, splits through our illusions. Bitches feel like earth to me. You can’t deny the truth of the earth, her mysterious ways, her quakes, and seasons. It is our point of reference for being.

 

At AWP I kept going up to the VIDA table and asking, Where my bitches at?! There is a truth that VIDA wants to bring to the table, an open dialogue, that requires vulnerability and trust, and a willingness to look at our shortcomings and acknowledge that in order to be fuller, actualized individuals, we have to work collectively to expand our view.

 

The bitch holds us accountable to each other.

 

When conceptualizing the Lady in the House department, I wanted that bitch energy to be brought to the fore. Alpha ladies laying the ground for how we think about literature/writings in our lives, provoking us to think beyond what is right in front—to see the forest for the trees, the trees for the forest and the forest for an afro.

 

RB, you are a woman of many border crossings, misreadings, and people wondering who and “what” you are and where you are from—I was thinking of you when we revamped our Global Woman department. What were you thinking?

Continued here: Introducing HER KIND: Rosebud Ben-Oni and Arisa White | The Conversant.

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Digging Deep: The Risky Business of Hearing Voices | New York Writers Coalition

Growing up with six siblings, the cacophony of voices at home, in Brooklyn’s streets, the entire city, skilled me in the art of channeling voices.

A Penny Saved is comprised of four distinct personae: Penny, her husband David, the House, and oldest daughter Elizabeth and her imaginary friend Jewlie. A Penny Saved is inspired by the true-life story of Polly Mitchell who was held captive in her Nebraskan home for 10 years; she escaped in 2003 with her four children. I reimagined the story here and there to make it my own: extended her captivity to 12 years and gave her three children. Thankfully, throughout the process of creating this book, my community of writers reminded me of my artistic license.

Penny’s voice was the first voice I started to write in 2006. She speaks throughout. Certain details stood out for me from newspaper articles: she was a recent high-school graduate when she married—she was still a teenager; wore second-hand clothes bought by her mother in law; had sisters; and she was in love. I kept that in mind while writing poems in her voice—she was in full trust as is the case when opened by love. Penny speaks from somewhere private and deep, and mythical at times. She expresses herself in all possible ways, since she is denied that freedom in her marriage.

I like to frame and structure what I am doing, so I’m not overwhelmed by the task of writing. Because A Penny Saved is inspired by a true-life story, I knew my end—she escapes. (In the book, I alter how she gets out of captivity.) This is what I built her character up to do. Through her captivity she learns to be strong, births children, and by the end of the book, grows into a woman.

I visually mapped out Penny’s home (and prison), so I knew the environment she would be in for 12 years (figs. 1 and 2). I found images in magazines and online and pasted them into my notebook. I’m fascinated with those omnipresent narrators, like in Morrison’s Jazz, magical realism, and I was smitten with the personae poems in Tyehimba Jess’ Leadbelly. The House is Penny’s number one champion and confidant, a consistent stable presence; it has an opinion about things, without judgment, and keeps a protective, maternal air.

There was a point in 2007 when I realized I needed something more to develop Penny’s voice and the book as a whole. My writing relied too heavily on lyrical inventiveness and the poems needed more heart and body. They weren’t going deep enough. I stopped working on this manuscript for close to two years, because I needed to be attentive to my heart; my own voice—when and why I choose silence; and which relationships grew or depleted me. Having left the East Coast for the West, for the first time in my life, I was three thousand miles away from all things that offered security—I couldn’t write the poems I wanted for A Penny Saved if I weren’t willing to take a heroic journey within. Both Penny and I needed to learn to stand on our own.

What are you willing to risk? The stories we choose to bring to life are based on our capacity to risk.

Continued here: Digging Deep: The Risky Business of Hearing Voices | New York Writers Coalition.

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Split Apart: A Conversation & Writing Workshop at Hampshire College, MA

Split Apart Poster

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Toxic Masculinity

These are the ideas I’ve been rolling around in my head and grappling with in my poetry. Jacyln Friedman does an excellent job breaking down what it means for all of us, male and female, to be affected by toxic masculinity. We all are struggling to embrace the feminine.

Here’s an excerpt:

It’s time for a serious intervention in masculinity. It’s not enough to not be a rapist. You don’t get a cookie or a Nobel Peace Prize for that. If we want to end the pandemic of rape, it’s going to require an entire global movement of men who are willing to do the hard work required to unpack and interrogate the ideas of masculinity they were raised with, and to create and model new masculinities that don’t enable misogyny. Masculinities built not on power over women, but on power with women.

Toxic masculinity is damaging to men, too, positing them as stoic sex-and-violence machines with allergies to tenderness, playfulness, and vulnerability. A reinvented masculinity will surely give men more room to express and explore themselves without shame or fear.

This is going to take real work, which is why so many men resist it. It requires destabilizing your own identity, and giving up attitudes and behaviors from which you’re used to deriving power, likely before you learn how to derive power from other, more just and productive places. There are real risks for men who challenge toxic masculinity, from social shaming to actual “don’t be a fag” violence—punishments that won’t ease until many, many men take the plunge. But there are great rewards to be had, too, beyond stopping rape. Toxic masculinity is damaging to men, too, positing them as stoic sex-and-violence machines with allergies to tenderness, playfulness, and vulnerability. A reinvented masculinity will surely give men more room to express and explore themselves without shame or fear. (It will also, not incidentally, reduce rape against men as well, because many rapes of men are committed by other men with the intention of “feminizing”—that is, humiliating through dominance—their victim.)

These interventions start with a “feminine” activity: introspection. What did you learn about “being a man,” from whom? How are those lessons working out for you, and for the people you love and your communities? Taking action can be as simple as men publicly owning their preference for “female” coded things, whether that’s child-rearing, nonviolence, feminism, or anything else—and being willing to suffer the social consequences. It can be more formal, working with established organizations like Men Stopping Violence. As more men take responsibility for the work, it will surely also take on forms no one has yet envisioned.

Read the complete article here: Toxic Masculinity.

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